Cheesy peppery potato, chicken, broccoli and cauliflower bake

I generally dislike reality TV shows, but I make an exception for cooking themed ones. Having said that, I do believe the only way to watch a reality TV show, even a cooking one, is on TiVo. On the few occasions I have been obliged to watch Masterchef without a fast forward button my brain nearly exploded from frustration. I don’t care what Sally from Queensland thought about the time management skills of Neville from Tasmania during his special challenge against Famous Chef A from Promoted Restaurant B, just GET ON WITH THE COOKING!!! I think the UK cooking shows are much better than ours in this respect. They set the challenge, they perform the challenge, they judge the challenge. Maybe sixty seconds of interviews and reflections. End of show. A particular favourite of mine is The Great British Bake-Off which features absolutely no recaps, lengthy speculations or detailed judges’ deliberations – can you believe they fill in the time with actual information about the UK’s culinary history?

Enough already about the flaws of Masterchef, my point is that I have (on a few hundred occasions) imagined what it would be like to participate in such a competition. What sort of competitor would I be? Sobbing hysterically at every elimination? Throwing a massive hissy fit when my cake sinks in the middle? Serving raw chicken because the oven wasn’t on? Probably yes, all of those. Every now and then you see a competitor trying out some bizarre unheard-of combination of ingredients, their eyes glazed with exhaustion-induced delusions of culinary omnipotence, spurred on by the promise of a book deal and a future selling kitchen appliances. Sometimes I think I might be that person serving up Vanilla and Anchovy Panna Cotta with pickled prunes and a Kale crumb. It might be getting to the end of a long day, I might be dead on my feet, but suddenly I will get an image in my mind of what I want to eat for dinner. I’ve never cooked or even eaten anything like it before but no matter! That is what we will be eating tonight. And off I go.

Last week was one such occasion. I had broccoli, I had cauliflower, I had an epiphany. Luckily for me, this particular brainwave turned out well. When my five-year-old son was asked if he liked it, he said he ‘loved it more than Mummy’. And he said, ‘Why are you crying, Mummy?’.

As always, a few notes:

If you have never made a white sauce (bechamel) before and you will lose a valuable sponsorship deal with a dishwashing detergent company if it turns out lumpy, there’s probably hundreds of instructional videos on YouTube. The sauce in this recipe is a basic white sauce, with cheese added at the end. The basic principles are: the flour is the thickener. You need to cook it with butter at the beginning to make sure the sauce doesn’t have a grainy and, well, floury texture. Lumps usually form if the milk is added too quickly so when you add the milk you must add it in small amounts and mix or whisk continuously.
The potatoes need to be par-cooked before adding them. The good news is that you don’t need to be overly precise about this as, in this recipe, they are unlikely to get really overcooked. You could probably even use leftover cooked spuds. I get mine started in the microwave for about 5 minutes on high power until they have just lost their raw crunchiness. Just make sure you stab them with a knife a few times before cooking or they may explode starchy mess all over your microwave’s interior. If you dislike/fear microwaves and don’t mind getting another pan dirty feel free to cook them, whole, in water. To do this you just cover them with cold water, add a teaspoon of salt and bring to a simmer until cooked to your liking.
The peppercorns used in this recipe are a favourite of mine. They are a French brand of brined green peppercorns, and they come in a teeny weeny tin the size of a pixie’s hat. I first used them in the years BC (Before Children) for a pasta recipe which I am now banned from making as a result of having cooked it far too frequently. These days I’m not sure if I would even consider buying what is essentially a tablespoon of peppercorns for about $4 a pop. But thank goodness I did, because they are delicious, melting without being soggy, mellow yet undeniably peppery. There is no other product like it. This recipe uses less than half a tin, which even for me is a pretty affordable luxury.

I can’t be sure, but I think maybe the artwork on this is a bit racist…

Most quantities are approximate. If you like a thick gooey sauce, add more flour or less milk, and more cheese. If you don’t like cauliflower, use extra broccoli (everyone loves broccoli, right?). Just make sure any substitutions aren’t too watery when cooked, or the end result may be less of a cheesy bake than a peppery milky bath for sad vegetables.

Serves 4
400g potatoes, skin on
30g cooking butter
3 tbsp plain flour
500mL milk, whole or skim, preferably room temperature
100g tasty cheddar or cheese of your choice, grated
1 tsp tinned green peppercorns in brine
Salt and pepper to taste
1 tbsp olive oil
1 large chicken breast, about 350g, sliced into 1cm pieces
1/2 large head broccoli, sliced into 1/2-1cm slices (stem and florets)
1/4 large head cauliflower, sliced into 1/2-1cm slices (stem and florets)

Preheat oven to 220 degrees Celcius or 200 degrees fan-forced.

Par-cook your potatoes before slicing them. When they are cool enough to handle, cut them into 1/2-1cm slices.

To make your cheesy bechamel sauce:
Put a medium sized saucepan on medium heat. Melt the butter in the pan, then add the flour and mix constantly for a minute or two to make a roux. Begin to add the milk, about a quarter of a cup at a time, and mix constantly. The mixture will thicken quickly. As soon as the milk is incorporated and the mixture is bubbling, add more milk and keep on mixing. If you see any lumps, turn down the heat, use a whisk and your arm muscles, and don’t add any more milk until the lumps are gone. When all the milk is incorporated and the sauce is bubbling, take the pan off the heat. Add the cheese and peppercorns and mix them in well. The residual heat of the sauce will melt the cheese. Season generously with salt and pepper – remember this sauce acts as the flavour base for all the other unseasoned ingredients.
Grease a roasting tray or similar with olive oil, then layer your ingredients: potato, chicken, cauliflower, potato, broccoli (as long as the potato is on the bottom it doesn’t really matter which order you put them in). Pour the cheese sauce evenly over the top. The sauce will thin out a little as the vegetables release liquid during the cooking process.
Bake, uncovered for about 45 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through and the top is browned and bubbling.

Crouching Sausage Roll, Hidden Fibre

When I sat down to write this I realised that most of the recipes I have included in my blog so far have been some form of roll. Maybe it’s a subconscious expression of my desire to be taken advantage of, financially speaking. Or cuddled. Who knows? Who actually cares, as long as they are tasty?
These sausage rolls are a family favourite as my grandmother used to make a very similar dish. She used to call them pasties, which was smart because anything called a pasty is allowed to have vegetables in and so we didn’t complain. As a Mummy, I admire her genius even more as I now realise that these are a great way of getting children to eat leftover vegies. When I began making these, I received some aggrieved feedback from my son, who struggled to understand why a sausage roll should be ruined by the inclusion of peas.

Rest assured the inclusion of green vegetation is strictly optional, subject to your own child’s peculiarities and your personal CTT (Complaint Tolerance Threshold). Mine is pretty high these days, hence the peas. Feel free to substitute the peas and corn in this recipe, or leave them out entirely. I have found that children will usually happily consume any cooked root vegetables in this form. Apparently if it’s starchy, it doesn’t count. If you just don’t have the energy to trick or cajole your child into eating vegies, the ‘invisible’ oats in this recipe will regulate their bowels by stealth. And anyway, sausage rolls are designed to be eaten with copious amounts of tomato sauce, which is basically a form of vegetable anyway. (I speak as a Fellow Parent here, not a health professional.)
You can use sausage mince if you like, but I prefer the flavour, texture and fat content of minced beef. Whenever I see it on special at the supermarket, I buy and freeze copious quantities for just such occasions as these.

I made a double batch of these and froze the leftovers in snap lock bags for instant school and Kindy lunches. Are my little scholars sad about this? No, they are not.
Keeping in mind the egg- and nut- free policy of our local school, I have made these accordingly. The salt and soaked oats in this recipe will ‘bind’ the mince mixture in lieu of the eggs. Even without the glorious bronzed gloss of an egg washed pastry, these rolls brown up nicely with a little full cream milk brushed on.

Sausage Rolls

Makes 36

1 cup instant rolled oats
500g packet frozen peas and corn, defrosted.
1 kg lean beef mince
2 tbsp Wouchestershire sauce
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 tsp ground pepper
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tbsp dried parsley
1 tsp onion powder
1/4 cup tomato paste
1kg pack of frozen puff pastry (6 sheets), defrosted.
Full cream (or whole) milk, for brushing.
Poppy seeds or sesame seeds for sprinkling (optional)

Preheat oven to 220 degrees Celcius.
In a large bowl, pour 1 1/2 cups boiling water over the oats and leave for 5 minutes.
Add the mince, seasoning, herbs and tomato paste, and mix thoroughly. Don’t be afraid to work the mixture, it will help it all to stick together when you’re rolling it.
Cut each square of pastry in half lengthways to make 12 rectangles. Divide the mixture between the pastry rectangles, spreading it evenly along one edge. Firmly roll the pastry and mince mixture over. Brush the other edge of the pastry with a little milk to help seal the pastry edges together. Make sure the seal is on the underside of the roll.
Using a large wet knife, cut each long roll into 3 equal(ish) pieces. Place several centimetres apart on a baking tray lined with baking paper. Don’t crowd them or they won’t brown nicely.
Brush with milk and sprinkle with seeds. Bake for about 10-15 minutes, or until golden brown and smelling awesome.
Place on cooling racks immediately (this stops the bottoms from going soggy). Devour hot after a few minutes or allow to cool completely before freezing.

If you have any leftover meat mixture, roll into walnut-sized balls and fry in a hot pan until brown. Don’t worry if they are still a little pink inside, this will largely disappear with resting. If you cook all the way through they will be dry. Cooled meatballs are also excellent for school lunches.

If you have any leftover pastry, cut into strips, brush with milk and sprinkle liberally with sugar (demerara is very good) then bake on paper lined trays until golden. Best eaten the same day. Sorry about that.